I can't tell you just how often I've been asked this question by a self-proclaimed "submissive" man. He'll watch Femdom porn, or read about real-life Female Led Relationships such as Mine, and want his Wife or Girlfriend to be more dominant. First of all, if you're starting with the attitude of wanting to "make" Her do something, you're not a real submissive.
You're a kinkster who wants to USE your partner to fulfill your own sexual fantasies, regardless of Her own wants, needs, or desires. Genuinely submissive men can help their partners discover their dominant side. But remember, not ALL Women are comfortable in that role. Just as some men are born with a natural tendency towards being submissive, the same can be said for many Women as well. One of the most important aspects of adhering to Female Supremacy is accepting Women as THEY choose to be, and not as YOU desire them to be. If you truly wish to help your Partner discover if She has a dominant side, first let's look at some of the characteristics of a dominant Woman. A dominant Woman is often an extremely confident person. She is independent, self-assured, and comfortable with Her own sexuality. However, even in 2021, many Women in our country are exposed to little or no sex education whatsoever.
They are taught from a very young age that their entire family's reputation rests on their shoulders. They mustn't do anything that could bring shame on their families, such as dating or having a relationship before marriage, dressing a certain way, or stepping out of the rigid confines of middle-class morality. They are conditioned to be obedient daughters, who must stay pure and remain virgins until they get married. And then, they must transfer their obedience to their husbands.
Sex is just another marital duty to be fulfilled as per Her husband's whims, regardless of how She Herself may feel. And then there's "marital rape", dismissed as just one more myth propagated by "radical, toxic feminists." We have public figures who even today call modern Women, "dented and painted". Others emphatically state that Women wearing ripped jeans are bad Mothers, and yet others believe that only Women with loose/no morals would ever drink alcohol or smoke a cigarette. Is it any wonder then, why MORE Indian Women don't feel comfortable embracing their dominant side? Now, I don't expect you, as one man, to change the hypocritical and misogynistic mindset of society at large. However, by being aware of these realities, and supporting your Wife or Partner to break free from Her shackles, you can help bring us one step closer to a healthier and more balanced society. Whether or not you live in a joint family, most of you cannot make radical changes to your lifestyle, because you know it won't be acceptable to those around you.
What you CAN do, is implement small changes within the privacy and parameters of your relationship with your Wife/Partner. The most important step is communication. I CANNOT stress the importance of this enough!
There is absolutely no possibility of maintaining a healthy relationship or having your Wife/Partner open up to you unless you start communicating with Her. And by that, I don't mean you should start sharing your sexual fantasies and kinks with Her.
No. I mean really TALK to Her.
And more importantly, LISTEN to what She has to say.
If She's been conditioned to be obedient, docile, and subservient, then it's going to take time for Her to open up to you, and initially, She may not feel comfortable doing so.
You need to show Her patience and understanding. If you can assure Her that you love and respect Her and that Her opinions matter to you, She will be more inclined to share them with you. This will do wonders for Her levels of confidence and self-esteem.
Let Her know, that regardless of your social roles, in the privacy of your relationship, you see Her as your partner and as your equal. You cannot expect Her to take control of a Female Led Relationship if She's made to feel as though She is inferior to you, simply because She's a Woman. If you're not looking for a Female Led Relationship, and just want to spice things up in the bedroom, you should STILL put the abovementioned suggestions into practice. Good communication is the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. If a Woman isn't comfortable or confident with Her own sexuality, She sure as hell won't be comfortable sharing or exploring sexual kinks and fantasies. Many Women come to their marital bed as virgins, with little to no sex education. Add to that a partner who might be just as ignorant and inexperienced as they are, and it doesn't bode well for their wedding night. A complete lack of foreplay makes it difficult for a Woman to achieve the level of lubrication required to make penetration easier. This can lead to a painful and oftentimes traumatizing first experience. Combine that with ignorance about Her own sexuality, her inexperience in achieving Her own orgasm, and the pressure of producing a child soon after marriage, and it's no surprise that for many Women, sex is an unpleasant aspect of Her married life.
Sex is seen more as a duty towards Her husband, rather than as a pleasurable experience and a vital aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. If the only knowledge you have about sex is from watching porn, then I want you to pay attention to what I'm going to say next.
PORN ISN'T REAL!
Porn has as much to do with a healthy sexual relationship, as Pro Wrestling has to do with actual sports. It's all fake!
Porn should be used as a form of entertainment, and not as a benchmark for your own sexual relationship. You should:
Take the time to explore intimacy with Her.
Learn about each other's bodies, and what feels good and what doesn't.
Stop comparing yourself and your sexual performance with your favorite porn videos.
Get out of your head!
There's a time and a place for fantasies, but if you cannot be intimate with Her without playing out some fantasy in your head, then you have other issues to deal with. Be completely present with HER.
Go at a pace that's comfortable for Her and that doesn't neglect Her pleasure. If the two of you already have a good sex life, then encourage Her to open up more about HER fantasies and desires.
That way you can see if they align with your own. In conclusion, whether you're hoping to encourage your Wife/Partner to take control of a Female Led Relationship, or just want Her to dominate you in the bedroom, communication, patience, and understanding will go a long way in helping you achieve your desire. Remember that the foundation of TRUE domination is Power Exchange, and that cannot be attained until and unless your Wife/Partner first feels empowered within Herself. I want to end this by stating that as much as I take pride in being a Woman, I am equally proud to be an Indian Woman.
I love My culture, My heritage, and My traditions.
I'm proud to come from a culture that welcomes the birth of a daughter, or the arrival of a new bride, as "Ghar Ki Laxmi.
I'm proud to come from a country that even today, still has places that follow the ancient traditions of a Matriarchal society.
I'm proud to come from a community that worships The Goddess in all Her Feminine Divinity. The fact that I drink/smoke, am "modern," and conduct a Female Led Relationship doesn't take away from the fact that I respect My elders, value My traditions, follow a strong code of ethics, and continue to be productive member of society. Don't confuse culture and tradition with toxic hypocrisy, and a false sense of morality.
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